Large Hadron Collider
Hmmm. Five billion dollars and a tunnel 17 miles long. Scientists from all corners (funny that folks still say corners after all these years of knowing the world “ain’t” flat!) of the globe. And I learned of this just today. Man oh man. I’m really in the dark. The name of the project kinda strikes me as being weird. Actually when you look at the name “Large Hadron Collider”, the words kinda “collide” to play tricks in my mind, resulting in the word “cauldron.” Hah! That’s it!! The whole experiment is witchcraft. No wonder I don’t get it. Seems like the foot of a rabbit and liver of a turtle would’ve been a lot less expensive to whip up than this whole thingymabobber. Guess no one’s asking me though.
Well, since the project is alive and kicking with or without me, I figured I’d just as well find out what the heck the whole purpose of it is. Apparently, scientists are hoping to uncover a few secrets of the universe by attempting to recreate the energy of the Big Bang. But since the Big Bang is merely a theory, I’d like to know how they are gonna know when they’ve recreated it? Oh well, the over 2400 scientists running the show are obviously geniuses so I guess they’ve got it all figured out.
Another thing the “Cauldron” experiment is trying to shed light on is whether Higgs Boson exists. Hey now, I know I’m not exactly brilliant, but can’t they just do a couple quick searches in the online white pages or something? Oh wait, sorry. Guess ol’ Higgs isn’t a person. Turns out it’s more of a God. A God particle. A God particle that may explain what gives particles mass. Now if only I knew the answer to that my life would be blissfully perfect! I mean all these years of wondering, “What the heck gives particles mass?!?!?”
Ok. I’m just gonna throw this out on the table. Am I the only one that feels like an absolute moron when reading about projects like this? Don’t answer that please. Ugggh. I’m glad there are people in this world that devote their lives to understanding the “matters” that basically make my brain freeze up just reading about ‘em. The only thing that brings me comfort is knowing, at least hoping anyway, that I may have the upper hand on one of these scientists when it comes to understanding the intricacies involved in engineering the world’s finest bulk flash drives for sale. Hah! Take that! No really, take that. Think of it. With all the computers no doubt churning night and day to spit out reports that to me would look like nothing more than a bunch of mumbo jumbo blah bee blah blah stuff, chances are there’s a need for some Large Hadron Collider branded flash drives!
The branded flash drives could serve as a way to back up the zillions of bytes worth of data the Collider project will produce. They could also serve as a tool to mobilize the data in the event one of the scientists decided to stroll on over to the local café in Switzerland and wanted to analyze the data while mindfully trying to determine what place in the universe the holes in the Swiss cheese he just ordered have.